Worst Bike Ride EVER! – Because family adventures aren’t always Instagram-worthy…

Saturday 19th April 2025. If there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to get across in this blog, it’s that our outdoor adventures are not Instagram-perfect. We have meltdowns, sulks, arguments – even full-on refusals to move. But usually, a little pep talk (and a nutritious* bribe) later, everything’s forgotten. So much so that when I ask the boys about the walk later, they barely remember the drama and just tell me what they loved. And honestly? That’s pretty awesome.

(*Nutritious? Who am I kidding? There is a reason why I keep a stash of Kendal mint cake and Maoams hidden in my bag!)

Today’s bike ride was one of those adventures. The kind that makes you laugh (perhaps not at the time!) and think, “This one’s for the parents wondering why their family outings don’t look like a lifestyle reel.”

A bit of background: we don’t usually cycle near home – I hate it. Our options are: terrifying country lanes used as racetracks, a notoriously dangerous main road, or a canal towpath that’s narrow, slippery, and full of wobble-inducing hazards. Basically, it’s not exactly child-friendly cycling territory.

Back when the boys’ bikes were smaller, we’d load them into the car and head to a skate park. But now their bikes are big, and our van (aka future mountain biking basecamp) isn’t ready yet – so the bikes sit in the garage, waiting for adventures.

But today, I momentarily forgot about all that… I sold my hardtail bike to make space for my new full-suspension replacement, ready for our upcoming off road adventures. The buyer’s partner had casually said, “Let’s go biking today!” and just like that, they found her my bike online and hit the road to collect it.

Inspired by them, as they drove away, my husband said, “Why don’t we go for a ride too?” The boys were instantly in. And despite my reservations (and internal panic), I said yes…

We set off down the canal, which meant navigating a stretch of country lanes, a brief stint on the main road, and a steep slope to reach the towpath. Nothing fancy planned – just a quick there-and-back short ride to dust off cobwebs and let me trial my new bike. Couple of miles max. No snacks, no water bottles, barely a plan. We grabbed an extra layer, put our helmets on, and off we went. What could possibly go wrong?

As we got closer to town, Dad asked the boys whether they wanted to continue along the canal or loop through town and head back via the main road. Our eldest piped up with an alternative: the Peatswood route. We’d walked it before – not a bad route – but we were now approaching it from the wrong end, which meant a lot of uphill.

Still, we were feeling optimistic. “We’ve all got geared bikes now,” I said. “It’ll be good training for some real mountain biking!”

We came off the canal, pedalled through town, and turned towards Peatswood. Spirits were high!

We stopped for a quick photo.

And then… it all fell apart.

The road ahead was flat at first, with a gentle curve and a downhill slope – perfect for building up speed before the first climb. We all picked up the pace, planning to coast our way into the hill with gravity on our side.

Well… all of us except the youngest.

He hadn’t thought that far ahead, and as the incline crept up, he slowed. Wobbling. Drifting. I pulled up beside him (I always bring up the rear) and started shouting motivational ‘mum-coachisms’: “Stand up! Drop a gear! You’ve got this, buddy!”

Halfway up, a car approached. He panicked. Stopped. The worst thing to do mid-hill.

We tucked into the hedge to let it pass. I could see the disappointment in his eyes as he looked up at Dad and big brother waiting at the top. I gave him a push to get going again, but he was having none of it. “I can’t do it!” he insisted, and started pushing the bike instead, ignoring every “You’ve got this!” I threw at him.

At the top, the road levelled out – briefly – before sloping up again. He started the next climb strong… for about ten seconds. I was there again: offering tips, encouragement – and a few white lies. Come on, we’re not far from home now. (Coaching is 90% lying, right?) Another car. Another stop. Another failed restart.

He was upset, frustrated and teary-eyed. “I CAN’T DO IT!”

“You can!” I assured him. “We’re doing it together, I’m tired too, but it’s just a little hill! We can do this!”

Then came the shout from Dad: “Come on!”

That was it.

“THIS IS THE WORST BIKE RIDE EVER! I HATE IT!”

“WHY DID WE COME THIS WAY?”

“I’M SO THIRSTY!!”

Oh no. 
The drink!  
In our rush to get out, I hadn’t packed a single bottle. I’d not even thought about a drink. Biggest Mum fail to date! No bribes either – my emergency stash of Maoams and Kendal mint cake was still safely tucked in my walking bag at home.

All I could offer was… promises of a glass of water as soon as we were home. Or what about a hot chocolate? With marshmallows? Maybe sprinkles? Anything to get him moving again!!

But the second Dad shouted back again, and the realisation hit that his mother had led him into this chaos with zero hydration or sugar incentives, he was done.

“I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE! I’M NEVER RIDING MY BIKE AGAIN!”

Ugh.

We couldn’t stay parked on the hill forever. “We won’t get a drink just sitting here,” I said gently. “Come on. Hop on. If we ride, we’ll be home faster than if we have to push the bikes all the way home. There’s some fun downhill bits coming!”

Eventually, we had movement. Not enthusiasm, but movement. The next mile was a slow one, filled with tears, and negativity, but we were moving! And finally, we reached the top of the last slow hill. And then…

Whoosh!

Downhill. 

Smiles.

Laughing. Yes, that was laughter!

And then we had our happy little boy back. Maybe it was because he knew this really was the final hill ahead, or maybe it was knowing the ride was nearly over. Or maybe the rush of the downhill had just blown away all the bad vibes and negativity.

Either way, he smashed that last hill. He stopped halfway up, sure – but with a smile, he hopped off, chatting away and happily pushing his bike until we reached the flat. And then we pedalled off, side by side, like an Instagram perfect biking family, riding off into the sunny distance.

I’m kidding. It was raining by then. 😅

Final Thoughts

Was it our smoothest ride? Absolutely not. But it’s the messy, meltdown-filled, real life moments that need to be shared with other parents – because no ones outdoor adventures are perfect, that I can promise you!

And here’s the thing: one hot chocolate and warm shower later and it’s all forgotten. And he’s already looking forward to our next 2-wheeled adventure. Well, so long as there are no hills apparently…

So no, our adventures aren’t always pretty. But they’re ours. And that’s more than enough for me.

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